You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
