Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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