He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
