Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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