Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
