Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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