dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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