wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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