is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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