If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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