ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
time to smoke my breakfast
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
