its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
