Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
