Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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