dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
