Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
