Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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