My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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