have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the day after is always just damage control
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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