I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
