there's paper in my vomit.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
