Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
