So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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