Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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