I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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