One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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