I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
