she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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