A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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