Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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