so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
