For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
