K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
