Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
