my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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