i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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