Umm I'm too high to move.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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