im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
