Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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