Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
one might say we're banned from that church
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
