Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
