I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
