i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
