i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
