why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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