Define "chronic" masturbator.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
