In America we eat man semen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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