Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
