No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
