Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
